Parent - Job Description

June 15, 2008 | 2 Comments 

I received this in an email from my Dad the other day. I thought it was appropriate to post on Father’s day. Happy Father’s day everyone!

PARENT - JOB DESCRIPTION

POSITION :

  • Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  • Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:

  • Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  • Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
  • Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  • Travel expenses not reimbursed.
  • Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

  • The rest of your life.
  • Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily until someone needs $5.
  • Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  • Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  • Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
  • Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  • Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  • Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
  • Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  • Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  • Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
  • Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

  • None.
  • Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

  • None required unfortunately.
  • On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

  • Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  • When you die, you give them whatever is left.
  • The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

  • While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do… or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

** AND A FOOTNOTE “THERE IS NO RETIREMENT — EVER!!! **

Posted by CoPo | Filed Under Blog

Our Little Blob

June 6, 2008 | 5 Comments 

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Blob, say hello to everyone. Everyone, please say hello to our little blob!

The first ultrasound was done yesterday and we found out we have ONE little healthy baby growing inside Kyla. Woo Hoo! What an amazing experience to see such a miracle in action. We could see the little heart flickering on the monitor and then we could actually hear it too. Both Kyla and I started to get teary eyed as soon as we heard that little heartbeat. I think it really set in that this whole process worked. We feel so blessed, fortunate and excited to be able experience all of this and share our adventure with you.

Kyla is still battling some wicked morning, afternoon and night sickness. I feel so bad for her, because there has been some pretty violent episodes. Although, the last couple of days she has felt quite nauseous, she’s starting to figure out some ways to keep everything down and get over the frequent times of feeling “barfy”. We are continuing the Progesterone shots nightly, which have started to become more painful as the days go by. It’s starting to get difficult to find a place that is not painful for her, since we have had to administer quite a few shots by now. Every night I find myself poking her phanny saying, “How about right here?” “Is this spot alright?” We both know it’s for the benefit of our growing little blob, but I feel so bad for Kyla and the pain she has been enduring.

Everything with me is going pretty well. I’m trying my best to help Kyla in every way possible. I try to encourage her to sit down and relax or even fit in a little nappy when she gets home. I think a big amount of anxiety has been lifted off my shoulders knowing that we are only having one baby. I would have been grateful for whatever God blessed us with, whether it be 1, 2, 3, or more…yikes, wait…more??? ha ha. But seriously, I am grateful and relieved that we have one healthy baby growing. I think more than that would have been really difficult for us, especially with our circumstances, but we would have made it work, whatever the outcome would have been. I’ve been practicing my photography a lot lately, in preparation of taking A LOT of maternity photos. I don’t have any to post yet, but hopefully there will be some to come soon.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We understand that the 1st trimester is the most sensitive one for the growth of our little baby. We understand that our little blob will look like a little gummy bear at our ultrasound in two weeks. We can’t wait for that!

Thanks again for your continued support.

Collin

PS. Don’t forget to send us your photos of you in your shirts!

Posted by CoPo | Filed Under Blog

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